So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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