just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I look better un-naked...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
