Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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