I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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