is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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