We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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