What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
