is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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