Will you blow on my dice?
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
PANTIES FOUND
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