Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
