I am in a vortex of obligation.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just googled if crying burns calories
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
