Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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