I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
