I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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