i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
