I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
