idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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