Your tits are I can't wait for
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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