she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
