is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
