he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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