she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
