I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
