just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
