party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
