I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Randomize
