Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
