It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
