Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
