Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
