If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
