I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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