You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
