ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Also, beer. Big fan.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Drake has all the answers
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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