Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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