similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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