If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
