Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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