Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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