Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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