You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
