My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
