Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
