So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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