come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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