I hate your face
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
