On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
