Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You are a genius and a whore.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
