The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
