Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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